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Thursday, August 04, 2005

Supportive Strangers

Nervous about meeting others in real time?

The first time I ever did one of these "meeting people via the internet" social gatherings, I was sooooooo nervous, but after the first time, I was addicted (per se) and my fears were gone. It has allowed me to be "bold" about meeting new people and making new friends with total strangers, because we all have that same goal, which is mostly to make some new friends. Someone you can talk to and not feel ashamed, if that's where you are mentally. You just have to take the bull by the horns and remember, we're meeting in a public place, so how "dangerous" could it be. You're also meeting guys and girls, not just a guy who might be "sizing" you up or vice versa. How bad could it be? Right?? We also have ladies nights sometimes and are willing to meet one on one if you prefer. Contact us.

You'll gain a different kind of self confidence by meeting others who've travelled down the same road, gone on the same rollercoaster ride. I am the type of person, as many others whom I've met in herpes groups, who is welcoming to anyone and everyone who is apart of our situation and who comes out to make new friends and I don't and won't judge you for any reason. I believe that everyone deserves a chance in life, so I won't and don't discriminate. You'll become addicted, because you'll find that we all have something in common and are so understanding of each others feelings and you'll find that being around others with herpes is soooooo refreshing. You can just take a deep breathe and realize you're OK too :-) It's so hard to describe, but trust me when I say, "you'll be OK". The beautiful part about meeting others with herpes is that you don't even have to "talk" about it. For instance, if you are drawn towards someone within the group, you won't HAVE to have "the talk". How awful, nervous or scared have you felt in the past when you really wanted to be closer to someone, but you run away out of fear of rejection? I know that I have done that many times in the past. It was easier to run, then to admit that I had an STD. We won't reject you!! We'll accept you as another person who understands what we've been through and we'll treat you with dignity and respect. (ok, so I love Dr. Phil :-)

Meeting in a bar

If you're saying to yourself, I hate going to bars, I understand that as well, because I know I've said it more than one time in my life. After a short while of spending time with your new found friends who also have herpes, you'll find that it's more like an office party. We have a little secret amongst yourselves and no one else needs to know. Kinda like two little girls in the corner talking about a cute boy and the boy doesn't know what they're tee-heeing about. It'll be our little secret, PLUS if you feel the need to "talk" about it, I'm more than willing to have that conversation, and of course I'll be very private about it and no one will overhear or know what we're even discussing. Have you ever been to an office party and had a wonderful time, in a bar. That's the best way that I can describe it. Sort of like an office party where you all work for the same company. Only difference is, we all have the same virus, but the overall concept is the same.

In my opinion, this is the safest way of meeting others who you've connected with via the internet and I feel totally comfortable no matter what the "occasion" is. Also, you don't have to drink alcohol to have fun, but on the same token, no one is frowned upon for doing so.

Members of the group look forward to meeting those of you who share this gift and understand the path that we've all taken. You'll find it's the best thing you could ever do for yourself is to surround yourself by others who understand.

Luanne

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14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

does anyone look at this shit anymore?

Tuesday, September 18, 2007 2:34:00 AM  
Blogger Luanne said...

yes, actually they do. Thanks for stopping by :-)

Tuesday, September 18, 2007 12:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey luanne. Thanks for this blog. I wish someone like Dr. Phil would step up and talk about this, if only to help relieve some of the stigma. The internalized stigma is one of the most painful things about getting diagnosed. The second is the locked down, cya, no sex without commplete latex coverage, message that all health care providers and related groups stick to. It feels like a kind of death for anyone who loves their sexual identity.

Monday, November 19, 2007 10:20:00 PM  
Blogger Luanne said...

you and me both Anonymous. In fact, I had written a letter to Dr. Phil, but never heard anything back from his producers and there is also a topic on his message board in regard to STD's, so I haven't lost hope. Sometimes I wonder if Montel Williams might be a better person to address this topic, due to him having MS which is so much more debilating, but a condition none the less.

I don't necessarily think that sex should be so restrictive either. I've had lots of unprotected sex in my lifetime and was lucky that all I got was herpes. Sadly, my sexual freedom isn't as happy go lucky as it used to be, but I guess everything happens for a reason.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007 11:41:00 AM  
Anonymous herpathetic said...

And some of us are still just now finding it this blog anonymous! Thank you for keeping your blog active Luanne. I was just diagnosed, and am in the stage of scouring the internet for information. I am particularly interested in information like your blog. Thank you again for all the time you have put into it.

Friday, January 16, 2009 3:43:00 PM  
Blogger Luanne said...

Thank you herpathetic. The way I see it, Herpes keeps on spreading and there will always be someone who finds value in my attitudes, opinions and thoughts on living with herpes. I have found that personal stories are more hopeful than the medical aspects of having herpes, although, that is important too.

Have a great weekend and thank you for stopping by. :-)

Luanne

Saturday, January 17, 2009 11:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was diagnosed a couple years ago when my boyfriend transferred it to me early on in our relationship. He was unaware that he had it. We recently broke up and I have felt so alone with it.............. The emotions attached to the break up was like finding out I had it all over again.

I just made and attempt to join a support group today. Then I came across your blog and it made me very excited to go and my decision to apply.

Do you know of a good support group in Vancouver, BC Canada?

Saturday, August 28, 2010 4:08:00 PM  
Blogger Luanne said...

Good morning anonymous from Vancouver, BC.

I'm glad you found this post helpful. I know that going to meet up with other people who have herpes was the most healing thing I could have done for myself at that time. It was the first step towards healing and acceptance.

I did find, what appears to be a pretty active group and you may have found them already on yahoo. Here is the link. Good luck.

Vancouver H Friends

Vancouver H Friends Social Club

Hope this helps.

Luanne

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 10:53:00 AM  
Blogger Wildfirejane said...

I never understood why Herpes had a stigma beyond all the rest of the STDs. It is controllable when you find the right supplement for you and chances are we all know someone with it. To be honest, I have not been diagnosed -except for coldsores- but I have good friends that have been and the fact that they only feel comfortable to share their stories at a whisper frustrates me.

I do not want to take away from the last statement but found your blog because I am looking for a local Vancouver blogger to write honestly about a product called Herpesgone. Can you suggest anyone? Are you from Vancouver, BC?

not.yr.average.jane@gmail.com

Luanne, really great local blog.

Thursday, February 10, 2011 1:05:00 AM  
Blogger Luanne said...

Thank you WildfireJane :-) (great name btw)

All I can think of Jane is to google "herpesgone" blog. You can also try that same entry with Vancouver at the end. Most herpes bloggers don't really like to put where they live on their blog :-)

Good luck and thank you for taking the time to post.


Luanne

Thursday, February 10, 2011 12:32:00 PM  
Anonymous dee89 said...

Thank you for this blog Luanne. I am 22 years old and just found out from my doctor this morning that I have herpes type 1. Your positive attitude is really helping me come to terms with this. I feel so lost and ashamed and really don't know how to deal with it. I am afraid my partner is going to leave me. We have only been seeing each other the past few months and I think I may of given it to him. I don't know where i got it from and i am trying to figure that out but don't have much hope. On my test results it mentions I also have 12ml of hep b surface antibody's. I am going back to my doctor but would you know what this means?

Tuesday, July 10, 2012 2:31:00 AM  
Blogger Luanne said...

to Dee89:

I'm so glad I could help share my positive thoughts in regard to herpes. I mean, how else can we be because it is what it is and there's not much we can do about it but choose to be happy and choose to simply do the right thing :-) For me, it's all good. I'm not any less of a person and neither are you :-)

Hep B?? Hmmm, that's not herpes, that's hepatitis. Hmmmm. Definitely go back and make sure and/or ask your Dr. about that. I'm not a medical Dr. but personally, I'd be more concerned about hepatitis than herpes. I'm not sure what 12ml of hep b surface antibody's means. You should definitely ask. Good luck to you and keep me posted.

Oh and LOTS of people have herpes type 1. aka: cold sore. Do you realize how many people just say, "oh, it's "JUST" a cold sore". I wanna shake em and say, Dude, that's HERPES!! :-) People love to live in denial.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012 10:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Dee89 said...

Thank you so much for your reply Luanne. Your advise is helping me immensely. I'm not really sure what it means in regards to the antibodies associated with hep b, there is so much different information on the internet, but I do know that hep b is nothing to do with herpes. I definitely had a positive result for herpes when I got a complete STI test done. On my results everything else was negative. It just mentions this 12ml anti bodies for Hep b which I will ask my doctor about asap. I never realized how common herpes really is!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012 12:00:00 AM  
Blogger Luanne said...

You're welcome Dee89 - glad you at least are aware of what's going on with your body and all that, but for me, when it comes to the technical part of antibodies and all that stuff, I tend to not focus or concern myself. I feel as though, it is what it is and if I have it I do :-) Some people try to analize it entirely too much IMO :-)

Monday, August 06, 2012 10:37:00 AM  

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