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Sunday, May 28, 2006

Does type matter?

Why would you just want to "believe" you have hsv-1 genitally, instead of retesting and "knowing". Don't you want to be 100% positive so that you know if and how to inform future partners?

Yes, I "believe" that I have HSV1 genitally. When I was diagnosed, they didn't type it as specifically as they do now. For me, as time has gone on, outbreaks became less and less frequent. I personally don't use any kind of meds. When I first had outbreaks, which were very few, my 1st one was a killer by the way and I personally applied cornstarch to the sore spot. I had my first obvious OB in about 3 years, just about 2 weeks ago and it wasn't nearly as painful as I recall the 1st time around being. This time I simply got a visual of it and said to myself, yep, looks like it could be an outbreak. I tend to get mine in my anal area and there have been times when I've gotten what seemed to be similiar to a paper cut more in the vaginal area and I would only notice that when I tried to urinate. Usually, I just rearrange the angle in which I urinate and that helps to ease the burning. Hopefully, it'll be another 3 years before I have any kind of OB which is more uncomfortable anymore vs. painful. To me, it's now just an open sore. Stress plays a huge roll in the frequency of my outbreaks. Everyone is different. I do believe as time goes on, your body becomes more used to the invasion of the virus and doesn't react as badly.

If you've been living with "genital herpes" for as long as I have, you get used to it after a while and find that you after all is said and one, you really have to ask yourself "does it really matter whether I have HSV 1 genital herpes or HSV 2 genital herpes"? It's so silly to even waste your money to find out. What difference does it make? For me, herpes is herpes and that's the bottom line.

To me, I honestly don't care which one I have, because herpes is just herpes to me and where I have it is genitally. That's it. Why make this so complicated. What's the point? That's how I view all of this. I'm not a doctor and I have no intention of learning all the ins and outs, certainly can't explain it. I have herpes for God sakes, that's it, simple, cut and dry, not a biggie for me, shit happens, life goes on, not the end of the world, I wont' die from it, what difference does it make which "type" I have? Why spend money on something that is simply costly in my book? For peace of mind or to sound informed? Who cares?

Why do I "assume" I have genital herpes one?


Based on my personal experience (20 + years with herpes) and the infrequency of my personal outbreaks and the fact that I don't take meds, I never have and only would consider it if it made someone else "feel safe". As far as I know, I've never passed it on either. I have had my share of unprotected sex with a past boyfriend and he has been tested and always comes up as negative. From reading other people's situations and based on my personal experience, I do "believe" that all I have is HSV-1 genitally. Way back when, when I was diagnosed, they didn't have a typing system where they differentiated between the two. I don't suffer nearly as much, hardly ever, once in 3 years, if that, and then it's simply a discomfort, not suffering by any stretch of the word. After reading what others experience with HSV-2 genitally, I honestly don't "believe" I have HSV2, but again, in my opinion, I still have genital herpes and my belief is, who cares if it's 1 or 2, it's still friggin' herpes. I think most newly diagnosed people for the most part or those who are just coming out of denial, make more of a deal of having herpes than I do, but I only feel that way, because I've finally gotten over it. Believe me, I've been there and done that. Denial and the works.

This question is one which many people often try to challenge me with, or other similiar questions, but many people feel like they "need to know". I feel very strongly about the fact that it's NOT a big deal, so why make it a big deal. I've already done that, cried a million tears and am OK with it now. Someone challenged me on this topic and what people need to understand is that the issue drives me absolutely crazy. Society in general gets on my nerves with the attitudes, the "knowledge" which some people send out as gospel, the self righteous ones who "preach" on and on about morality and all that. All of us have choices and who the heck are we to place our beliefs and to try and "force" other people that they are the only ones who are right. After all is said and done, we are the ones who have to live with ourselves and whether we tell a prospective partner that we have either oral or genital herpes is a simple case of being an honest person, someone who a prospective mate will love and trust because that person shared something so personal about themselves which they felt was important for the other person to be aware of there risks. After all is said and done, I believe that my honesty will win out in the long run and he will be worthy of being with me.

I believe that people will eventually realize that herpes is here, it's not going anyplace...sure, it might be slowed down IF they find a vaccine, but in my heart of hearts, I don't see that researchers find this to be on their high priority list. I personally believe there are many other viruses and diseases which are much more important and earth shattering. I'm so tired of hearing others respond with "OH POOR ME" UGH, it gets old. Shit or get off the pot, ya know. Get over it :-) The sooner people can get used to their new selves, the quicker they can move on and be happy again and feel sexual and loved again. You have to love yourself before anyone will love you. I know you've heard that before!!

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27 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Monday, May 29, 2006 1:21:00 AM  
Blogger Luanne said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Monday, May 29, 2006 12:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Luanne, thanks for the support thus far. I would really like to talk to you more privately b/c i have so many questions and concerns about what lies in my furute. I tried to email you but it wasnt working. Besides that though, one of my major concerns is in regards to children and telling people. I am in the stage of my life where i don't have a partner and i probably wont for a while. I will be going to college soon and dating/ "hooking up" is huge at that point in time...must you tell EVERYONE that you "hook up" with and/or are "together" with about the virus. I guess my real question is, if you dont have an outbreak and use protection, does the person not infected with the virus have a risk in getting it? The last thing on earth i would want to do is put anyone else at risk. Also, if the answer to that question is no, if when you dont have an outbreak and have sex with a husband (though that is very far in the future for me), can you spread it to them? Anyway, if you could answer that question it would ease my mind a lot. thanks again.

Monday, May 29, 2006 3:22:00 PM  
Blogger Luanne said...

Hi there. Let me see if this will work. Try me here: ms_turtlepoint@yahoo.com

I'll briefly answer some of your questions because I'm headed off to sleep soon. Unfortunately, the "moral" thing to do is to tell. Mind you, I can't preach and tell you you must, but you even mentioned that you wouldn't feel right if you passed it on. Email me and I can put you in touch with a gal who got herpes right around your age, she is a good friend of mine and now is like 21 or 22 maybe. She has a good handle on it and as far as I know, she basically grew up quicker than she needed to as well. I feel for you, because I know this is more devastating because of the social stigma. Casual sex is not going to be as easy for you, but you know, after all is said and done, it shouldn't be something easy for us anyway. I believe (and I'm not a big church go'er) that God will only give us as much as we can handle. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, but you will become a better person for that, I truly believe that. Hang in there my friend and feel free to email me directly and I can address my thoughts on your other questions too.

I had a normal vaginal delivery and never passed it on to my son. As long as your doctor is aware, the chances of passing it on to an infant is slim to none. I won't lie to you because it does happen, but from what I've read, as long as the doctor is aware, then they can treat the baby. Let's get you through this first. But you will be able to live a normal life :-) Everyone's herpes is different and everyone's body reacts differently, depending on their level of stress and many other factors in general. Mind you, I try to live my life as stress free as possible and that seems to be key for me. BTW, not every outbreak is a herpes outbreak either. The more you worry, the worse it will be. :-) You'll read about cases of Herpes Neuralgia (which I've only ever read about a few people who have that, it tends to be more severe) or Neonatal herpes, again, very few cases, but it does happen (you just have to communicate with your doctor and find a herpes friendly doctor who knows what to look for etc).

Future husbands and boyfriends: there is always a chance you could pass it on, however in my experience, I was in denial for the 1st 10 years of having herpes, unaware about asymptomatic shedding (which to be honest, I really wonder about whether it even exists or if it's simply not an excuse which some people use to say they didn't know they had it). I mean, do we really ever know if a person knows or if the "studies" which they claim have proven things. I don't necessarily believe everything I read and of course, I'm sure a few people might think I'm a little off my rocker too lolol, but the bottom line is, herpes is JUST a virus, you won't die from it, it's not the end of the world. :-) Oops, I get sidetracked lolol As far as I know, I've NEVER passed it on and believe I had my share of sex and unprotected sex. Those days are gone for me now, because I'm now older and wiser and so glad that all I got was herpes. I was one of the lucky ones is the way I see things :-)

Talk to you :-)

Luanne

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 1:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Vince said...

Visited so many websites..
after all, it's a coldsore problem.
The doctors avoid emotional impact because they're too busy with other issues.... no guarantees (100%) of avoiding passing it on. Spent years
getting used to the idea and still somewhat depressed..feeling free about
sex probably a thing of the past...
Oh well, honesty is probably the best
(and only) option.
Vince

Wednesday, October 11, 2006 7:09:00 PM  
Anonymous vince said...

To Luanne..
I think your comments are really refreshing.. for God's sake, it's a virus, not a moral issue or whatever.
The only thing that's really strange
is the odd emotional/psychological effect this condition seems to generate. It's almost like walking around with leprosy and feeling like
an outcast. Anyway, why is it that the resources for treating STD's in the UK
have the status of being the Cinderella of medicine? It's absurd.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006 7:23:00 PM  
Blogger Luanne said...

Thank you Vince. I've always been curious about other countries too as you don't hear much from anyone in Europe on this side of the pond in regard to herpes. What's the attitude there?

Thursday, October 12, 2006 6:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HELLO THIS IS A YOUNG BOY WHO THINKS THAT HE HAS HERPES AND THINKS HE SHOULD GET CHECKED OUT BUT IM TO AFRAID OF WHAT THEY WILL SAY I DONT WANT TO HEAR THEM SAY THAT I HAVE A DESEASE IM ONLY 17 AND NOW I THINK OF SUICIDE WHAT DO I DO THAT IS CRAZY HOW YOU COULD BE SO CALM KNOWING YOU HAVE HERPES PLEASE WRITE ME BACK

Tuesday, November 07, 2006 5:43:00 AM  
Blogger Luanne said...

For me, it is truly NOT the end of the world having herpes. In the beginning, I totally understand that having been diagnosed, how emotionally devastated I was and this is so very normal. I really need for you to go to a clinic and be tested, that way you will know for sure. It truly could be something else and you could be worrying for nothing. My son is 14 years old and I hope that he would feel comfortable enough to come and talk to me about this if this happened to him. Are you close with either of your parents? Maybe a teacher you could talk to or another adult? You will find that because herpes is NOT life threatening, that it is simply a virus. Many people have this virus and don't even know they have it. If you have gotten this virus and are "suffering" from your first outbreak, chances are, this will be the worst episode. As time goes on, your body "gets used to it" living with the virus and you don't break out nearly as bad. The first episode is almost always the absolute worst. Even people who have "coldsores" have herpes. There are two different types, HSV1 and HSV2. Tell me more about your situation? Did you by chance receive oral sex from a gal who had an open coldsore around her mouth?



I'm here for you OK :-) Take a deep breath and we'll get you through this. You'll be just fine and your love life is NOT over. There will be so many other things in life you will need to deal with and for me, herpes has played such a small part of it after looking at the big picture.

Email me if you want to talk to me privately: mailto:ms_turtlepoint@yahoo.com

Tuesday, November 07, 2006 1:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha hi all its funny how many people get shit scared of this I have herpes (haha I choose the wrong girl when I was 15 now Im 21) and like luanne said its just a common virus now a days influenza is more dangerous. just go to your doctor and find out for shore for all you know it could just be a ingrown pubic hair which you squeeze and got infected.

just you wait there will be a curious or a permanent Supressive drug soon enough
_easy e_

Friday, November 02, 2007 10:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Recently I was diagnosed with Herpes type One but just oral. The doctor I have did not explain anything about this disease and I have been trying to find things on the internet in order to find out. I have a ton of questions. If there is any help available through this site, that'd be the greatest.

Thursday, January 10, 2008 5:00:00 PM  
Blogger Luanne said...

To the Anonymous poster from: Thursday, January 10, 2008 5:00:00 PM

Feel free to ask questions here. I am more than happy to answer your questions. If I don't know the answer, I will find out for you or point you in the right direction.

Friday, January 11, 2008 9:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ive been diagnosed for over a year now and recently broke up with my boyfriend whom I was with the whole time. I was too drunk one night and ended up having a one night stand with this guy who is a friend of a friend and I dont know how to tell him about this.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 1:02:00 AM  
Blogger Luanne said...

First of all, it's NOT easy to tell, but once you do, you'll feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off of your shoulders and telling is the "right" thing to do. Even if he's not accepting of you having herpes, he'll respect the heck out of you for being honest and who knows, maybe he'll come around. I have found that telling is also a way of "weeding" out the ones who only are in a relationship for selfish reasons. Many of us women wear our hearts on a sleeve and why wait to have our hearts broken for some other reason. Be strong, you'll do fine. I have another post on my blog about "Telling" I'll try to find the link and post it here. It might be on the left hand column of my blog under "MY favorite posts". Telling is a HUGE issue for all of us, so just remember, you're not alone.

Luanne

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 9:56:00 AM  
Blogger sdiggs1127 said...

HI ! I was just diagnosed with herpes about 48 hours ago. I have never had an outbreak. I was wondering if since I have never had an outbreak does this mean I can still give it to someone? I was told that some people don't have outbreaks ever. Also I am having a hard time excepting it. i woke up the last two mornings thinking I had a bad dream. I'm guessing only time will cure this right? Another question I have is support groups helpful. I've read they are and are not. A friend also told me about Herpes dating websites. Should I really limit my dating to those who have Herpes? Thats all I have for now. I hope you can answer some of my questions. Thank you :)

Saturday, June 20, 2009 11:11:00 PM  
Blogger Luanne said...

Hi Sdiggs...thank you for stopping by. I'm just another one of those people who happened upon someone who had herpes and didn't tell me from the beginning. It was a one night thing, I was "young and dumb", but things happen and life goes on....I'm sorry that you're now going to have this for the rest of your life, BUT....it's NOT the end of the world. You will have love and be loved again and you will get to a place, with much research, time and being around others who have herpes, to realize you're not alone and things could be worse. Come to terms with it for yourself. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND surrounding yourself with others who have herpes. In fact, please do read my post on that "meeting strangers", I have it linked on the home page under "my favorite posts". Dating sights?? Yes and no. It just depends on if you live in a bigger city or not. I personally have not found them to be very useful, but I live in the boonies :-)

Because you've never had an outbreak, what caused you to get tested? It is possible that you might never have an outbreak, but be sure to read more about asymptomatic shedding. Me personally, I'm not 100pct sure it exists, but the "experts" claim it's real. Basically they're saying that you could be shedding and it not create an open sore and you'd be contagious. What they're saying is there are no guarantees and you can't go by whether you're having an outbreak or not. I don't know, I might not be the best person to ask for an opinion about shedding. I think it's a way for the drug companies to hold you in that daily drug therapy out of fear. Know what I mean.

And NO. I do not believe that we need to limit ourselves to loving someone with herpes only. We ARE NOT herpes, we just have a life long virus which is NOT life threatening. We are SO much more than herpes, so please don't let it define you and the choices you make in your future loves. Just be honest and don't rush into future relationships. Honesty is the best thing you can do for yourself and any future mates.

Monday, June 22, 2009 1:01:00 AM  
Blogger sdiggs1127 said...

Thanks for all the information Luanne.
The reason I got tested was because I went in for my yearly pap and asked to get tested for everything. I got a positive result through a blood test for Herpes. They didn't really specify which type though.They just said that I was "exposed" to herpes. I told them that I have never had an outbreak and they said I might be one of the "lucky people who may never have one. They also said I would know if I have one. Isn't true that sometime you don't know if you have one? Also they said they would test me again the next time I came into the office. I thought its kinda like pregnancy, you usually don't get a false positive right?

Monday, June 22, 2009 8:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hello everyone! I would just like to make a few comments on what has been said and make a few points.
I recently noticed some signs of herpes breakouts and have been freaking out. I noticed dryness come over my entire body and red flat spots on the shaft which would form into white plaques (basically a white scab without a the thinker coating from a deep cut) There was a burning sensation at the head of the penis too. It got super red and right under the head head because extremely raw. It hurt without touching it. The white plaques hurt to touch as well. Anyways, a lot of thoughts and emotions have flowed through my mind. Anger, fustration, embarassment, humiliation, fright, rejection, and many more. People have said its just a virus but I feel they down play it alittle too much!
Okay so sure its a virus and yes there is medication to deal with breakouts but that only really is to help with the pain. It doesn't help you with your immune system or gradually build up a deffense against it. Its there with you for life and there is no turning back.
Secondly the you may feel embarassed, ashamed, and scared to tell anyone of your health issue, but that doesnt change how important it is to tell your partner (of any type). It's not only is morally just, but it is also considered murder if you know you have it and don't tell your partner about it. (hence why many sexually active don't get tested so they can escape the responsibility of telling their partner). It still bothers me that people havent all matured and been responsible about their personal health. It makes me cringe to think there are people to sleep with multiple people passing on many things without even the slightest care. They are getting attention or satisfaction with what is happening so they are happy and once things turn up they are gone. I have had a very disterbing experience with this.

Thursday, April 29, 2010 2:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You say that its just a virus and posses no more than a threat than influenza but I doubt that. Influenza may have some harsh effects in some cases, however herpes is something that hides within your nervous system and appears at weaking points and will do this for LIFE...influenza may have some strong effects but you wont have the burden for the rest of your life. In addition to it being there when your week...have you ever thought about what you would do if you needed surgery??? Yes, it doesnt always happen to everyone but never exclude yourself! I needed it for my deviated septum (basically bent nose on the inide that abstructs breathing and other issues), but you may need it after an accident of any sort. Maybe car accident or some sporting event or some other disease or cancer. They all involve anesthesia which does wonders on your body (not in a good way) your body is very weak and you are very ceptable to bacteria and viruses getting especially if you have an std to mix. That causes serious problems and provides a much greater chance of death (a little extreme but in some cases its very real). Yes, it really does put you at serious risk. It really is a burden but doesnt mean it cant be dealt with, it just needs a strong person deal with it propporly and responsibly.

Lastly, I know in the US sexual prominscuality is not to be spoken of even though it is very much appart of everyday life. Last I heard Herpes is in 1 of every 4 Americans, which may be even more with peoples sexual habbits and how its starting at younger and younger ages. I believe as of today 11 and some below that age have gone into doctors offices pregant and loaded with stds! That in a society you are considered "dirty" to have an std and its a shameful and unsanitary characteristic, however, you must see past society's social stands and be the better person for humanity. Just let the person know what they are at risk of concieving. I know you would want the same odds, so why not allow the other.

signed,
A sympathetic but realistic friend.


ps. I am not a doctor but I do know what i am talking about. Im sorry I didn't have time too proof read my thoughts. I am not sure how many will actually read it but i hope that for the ones who do benefit from it. Cheers and good luck to all

Thursday, April 29, 2010 2:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In reply to sdiggs1127.
Yes you can have a false positive and vice versa. Its so scary. i was told by my doctor that i could have bloodwork done but its not very accurate at all and that the only real way to tell is getting a sample of the skin fresh out of a breakout. (i know nearly impossible right?) i don't know how true all of this is because he is just my primary and not a urologist or ginocologist or specialized with that area. However, still a good doctor, but doesnt know everything. Just something to think about. Many people have been tested numerous times for years and never found anything and then had finally had a positive result..so its wierd how it works...but deffenetly keep getting checked and stay on it. Keep in mind you arent to take any meds for herpes unless you truely are comfortable with your doctors diagnosis that you have it. also there are sooo many benign cases of that could be dealt with so dont always just sell yourself out on the most popular one.
well i hope things are better now for you and hopefully this helped.

a friend just trying to help a brotha out.

Thursday, April 29, 2010 2:43:00 AM  
Anonymous co said...

hi , anyone see a relation between geographic toungue and herpes? I got tested for a new partner and had herpes, I never knew, never had a cold sore, don't know where I got it.

Saturday, June 04, 2011 4:46:00 PM  
Blogger Luanne said...

geographic tongue? WTH is that? Dang, the things you learn from posters.

and to the posters from a long way back......

If you have herpes, don't sweat it. Stress is the biggest cause of herpes outbreaks. I don't understand how people can have so much drama about this.

I'm not a dr. either :-)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011 6:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry but I feel that you are very insensitive to the fact that people are afraid, you've had 20 plus years to adjust. I'm coping for 2 years but still get sad. Yes, it's that serious because society makes it that way. You are being so unfair and it comes off like you're saying we should feel stupid for freaking out. I was a virgin who waited till I was 26 to trust someone. I feel hurt over that and Yes, it's just a virus that has inconvenienced my life and not his. He probably thought like you did and now I have to take a pill everyday for the rest of my life because I trusted the wrong person. So yes, I will freak out if I so please and I will comfort the next victim. It's not like the flu it is a social scar. So yes we can move forward but why be insensitive to those who are still trying to adjust to their new life.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011 11:17:00 PM  
Blogger Luanne said...

to anonymous from Wednesday, November 30, 2011 11:17:00 PM

All I'm saying is that people need to meet this virus head on and learn to deal with it. It's not a death sentence and NOT the end of the world.....HOWEVER - I totally understand how you feel.

And basically, someone was being insensitive to me which is why I wrote this post. HSV is HSV in my opinion, regardless of which one you have in your genital area. That was the point of my whole post (short of me going back to read it all over again) :-) It's all good.

Thursday, January 12, 2012 11:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Luanne, I was diagnosed yesterday with both type 1 and type 2 and I am having a really hard time dealing with it all. I am married with a 4 month old baby. I am very concerned about passing it to my baby as well as other close family members. I was wondering if maybe we could talk privately through email or something because I would appreciate your opinion, advice and support in this matter. Thank you in advance, mama panic attack

Wednesday, February 08, 2012 10:37:00 AM  
Blogger Luanne said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012 12:48:00 PM  
Blogger Luanne said...

to anon from Wednesday, February 08, 2012 10:37:00 AM

Looks like I need to add an email address to my blog :-)

You'll be fine. Hang in there

Monday, September 03, 2012 4:35:00 PM  

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