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Sunday, August 14, 2005

Should I date someone who has herpes?

Emily Marcelo, a columnist, recently replied to a reader in regard to: "What would you do?".

Here is the full story. I have made comments to the article below.

Dear Emily:
MY best friend has quite a problem. She asked me recently if I would want a guy with STD (sexually transmitted disease). I told her if I loved the guy, it wouldn’t matter and I would still want him. I honestly believed what I told her. But was I right? I do not want her to make a mess of her life. What do you think about having a relationship with a guy who has STD, specifically herpes?

SAM

Emily's reply:

There was a joke that went: “What’s the difference between love and herpes?” Answer: “Herpes is forever.” The way love comes and goes like a train in an MRT station, your friend better think twice, five times, and even a thousand times before going to bed with this guy.

Herpes is no joke and there are a myriad complications that go with it. There are no two ways about it—she will get it and she’ll get a life sentence even after love has flown away—if ever. Isn’t that tragic?

It’s interesting that you say it’s okay with you if your boyfriend has STD. If you absolutely know what herpes is and can still accept him regardless—I can only gasp at such devotion. But, remember, it’s not like your boyfriend is paraplegic or totally blind! Herpes is highly infectious. Depending on the type, it can manifest itself immediately all over your body like the fireworks on Independence Day. Or it can lie dormant for years without your knowing about it. And, once you have it, it’s yours to keep. That’s like playing Russian roulette all your life.

Unless you’re Mother Teresa’s clone and you got her forbearance for pain and suffering, I suggest you rethink your views on this one. You were possibly just being cute—thinking your belief will never be put to a test.

Yes, yes—love is something nobody can fully explain. Others are willing to die for it and many actually kill for it. But unless a guy is worth every atom in the herpes virus, you better think hard before approving something with such dire consequences.

By the way, if your friend asked you that supposedly hypothetical question after she’d gone to bed with the guy, what else is there to say?

“Take an aspirin and call me in the morning” will not cut it.


My response to Emily: How dare you spew such venom. Herpes IS NOT and NEVER WILL BE a big deal. It is NOT the end of the world and in fact, when a person is told that their prospective mate has herpes, they need to realize what a gem they have found in that person, because a person who has herpes and deals with it in a mature manner, only tells me that they care about themselves and others. Herpes is manageable. I personally have slept with several people in my past and never transmitted the virus to them and even with unprotected sex. It's people like you who create the unnecessary stigma which has been attached to it. The stigma which drives some people to suicide and for what?? A cold sore "down yonder"? That's just ludacris!!! Having herpes is NOT life threatening and certainly not the end of my world. I can honestly say that I'm glad I have herpes. Before you totally shun people for their honesty, you really should try to walk a mile in a person's shoes.

SHAME ON YOU EMILY!!!

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for featuring this post, and for all of your blog. Please don't stop.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008 9:20:00 AM  

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