You Have to Ask Yourself

What exactly are you looking for and is the person worth the risk of getting genital herpes. If you're simply looking to get laid, I say to you, don't put yourself and that person through the misery of that magical day when you too can come together (that's how we women think :-) as one. If you really don't want the risk, just let them know ahead of time.

What's wrong with people having this discussion ahead of time, even before someone even has to have "the talk". I guess that's why people ask the question are you drug and disease free because they don't want to take the risk and that's cool. I respect people for even bringing this topic up as something of concern to them. Honestly, it tells me they're not looking for a long term relationship when it comes to talking about herpes. I can honestly say that I feel that way about a person who would have AIDS. That scares the heck out of me, but ONLY because death is more of a possibility and of course, everyone's situation is different from the next. In my case, I have a child and want to be here for him for as long as I possibly can be. So I understand that thinking, but if you're just looking for a "fuck buddy" then to be honest, I wouldn't want to put you at risk either because I want the real deal anyway. Someone to love me and spend the rest of their lives with me. Sound hokey? NAW!! I'm a woman :-) For me, TELLING weeds out the ones who I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with anyway. NOW, there is also the case of telling, they accept the fact that I have herpes and then I found out that they are an abuser and OK with me because NO ONE else will spend time with them. That's where the next rule comes in. DON'T let a new LOVE move in with you until you have gotten to know everything about them. Don't fall for anything, don't settle!! Believe me when I say, it's NOT worth it. That's why I prefer to have friends first and then if we get to a place where we might "cross that line" then by that point, I would most likely have already told "my friend" and if we've been friends for a very long time, then he or she has then decided that I am worth the risk. It's crazy how our minds think and the choices we make.