You've Been Diagnosed with Herpes.....Now What?

So you've been diagnosed with herpes and you're mulling over your past, your future, what herpes means to you, your gifter and all of the why's....  Why me?  I didn't deserve this.  I won't ever get married!!  I won't ever have children....

OK, so first of all, you need to stop with the pity party.  It is what it is and you now need to come to terms with living with this virus.
1. Why didn't he/she tell me?
It is very possible that he/she didn't know and/or simply ignored it. Sadly, many people are simply in denial and it seems that guys are the worst when it comes to dealing with and talking about herpes. Some of them have learned how important it is to be upfront and honest and many simply never had it checked out to confirm that they were carriers. Sad but true and that's why this virus can be so devasting because people expect the courtesy of honesty.

2. I thought they were "clean" and probably wouldn't have a nasty STD.
Taking an STD test has nothing to do with cleanliness. It's a matter of responsibility for any/all STD's.

3. I've told him that I contracted the virus, yet he said that we should keep it between the two of us.
I respect the need for only sharing the information amongst yourselves, however, he needs to realize and understand how important it is for him to be telling any prospective mate, to give them the option. He too will find that many people he already knows are living with this virus.  People who are in denial, need much education on this topic.

So now you have herpes, you're confirmed with it and now you need to move forward. You need to think about this in a positive light, because what other choice do you have? Please read through the comments and posts that I've written to gain an understanding of what you need to do for you and your integrity. Hold your head high and become familiar with how Herpes impacts you and your body. Herpes doesn't care what kind of food you eat, it's simply a contagious virus that anyone can contract. Even if you only ever slept with just one person one time, you can still get herpes. Herpes doesn't pick and choose based on your healthy or non-healthy lifestyle or a persons age.  Some people try to project an image of healthiness to cover up the fact that they may be living with this virus, but herpes doesn't pick on only the less than healthy people.  Many people don't realize that if they have a cold sore on their mouth, that that is herpes. People simply don't know or realize, they just call it a cold sore.

You can still get married, still have children. I contracted the virus when I was about 27 years old, had my son at 30 years old and he's a healthy young 19 year old man. I delivered him vaginally and he doesn't have the virus, so don't stop living just because you have herpes.   My OBGYN ran all sorts of blood tests on me in the beginning of my pregnancy, so they were aware that I had the herpes virus. Just communicate with the doctor and enjoy having babies. This is NOT the end of the world and as long as you meet someone who you connect with and love, and he loves you, then he will be accepting and possibly a marriage mate, but whatever you do, please don't "settle" for a guy, just because he accepts that you have herpes. Trust me, I just got out of a one year relationship where it didn't bother him a bit, me having herpes, but there were a whole lot of other issues with him which were not worth it for me to "have him around". He's still a great friend to me, but just not someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. Don't settle!!
And lastly, You are NOT damaged goods.  I know that in the beginning, my very first outbreak was the absolute worst, but they did get better and less painful as time passed.  I believe that your body should be comfortable with it and not react as frequently over time. For me, I try to live as stress free of a life that I can. I have found that every time I allow stress to come into my life, I have an outbreak.

Will there ever be a cure?
Not to disappoint you, but I suspect there will never be a cure for Herpes, but I believe a vaccine for those who don't have it might be something which will be formulated. I suspect that because herpes is not a life threatening virus, that that is not on the top of the CDC's priority list of infectious diseases.

None of us ever deserved this, but "it is what it is". Chin up!!