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Sunday, May 28, 2006

Does type matter?

Why would you just want to "believe" you have hsv-1 genitally, instead of retesting and "knowing". Don't you want to be 100% positive so that you know if and how to inform future partners?

Yes, I "believe" that I have HSV1 genitally. When I was diagnosed, they didn't type it as specifically as they do now. For me, as time has gone on, outbreaks became less and less frequent. I personally don't use any kind of meds. When I first had outbreaks, which were very few, my 1st one was a killer by the way and I personally applied cornstarch to the sore spot. I had my first obvious OB in about 3 years, just about 2 weeks ago and it wasn't nearly as painful as I recall the 1st time around being. This time I simply got a visual of it and said to myself, yep, looks like it could be an outbreak. I tend to get mine in my anal area and there have been times when I've gotten what seemed to be similiar to a paper cut more in the vaginal area and I would only notice that when I tried to urinate. Usually, I just rearrange the angle in which I urinate and that helps to ease the burning. Hopefully, it'll be another 3 years before I have any kind of OB which is more uncomfortable anymore vs. painful. To me, it's now just an open sore. Stress plays a huge roll in the frequency of my outbreaks. Everyone is different. I do believe as time goes on, your body becomes more used to the invasion of the virus and doesn't react as badly.

If you've been living with "genital herpes" for as long as I have, you get used to it after a while and find that you after all is said and one, you really have to ask yourself "does it really matter whether I have HSV 1 genital herpes or HSV 2 genital herpes"? It's so silly to even waste your money to find out. What difference does it make? For me, herpes is herpes and that's the bottom line.

To me, I honestly don't care which one I have, because herpes is just herpes to me and where I have it is genitally. That's it. Why make this so complicated. What's the point? That's how I view all of this. I'm not a doctor and I have no intention of learning all the ins and outs, certainly can't explain it. I have herpes for God sakes, that's it, simple, cut and dry, not a biggie for me, shit happens, life goes on, not the end of the world, I wont' die from it, what difference does it make which "type" I have? Why spend money on something that is simply costly in my book? For peace of mind or to sound informed? Who cares?

Why do I "assume" I have genital herpes one?

Based on my personal experience (20 + years with herpes) and the infrequency of my personal outbreaks and the fact that I don't take meds, I never have and only would consider it if it made someone else "feel safe". As far as I know, I've never passed it on either. I have had my share of unprotected sex with a past boyfriend and he has been tested and always comes up as negative. From reading other people's situations and based on my personal experience, I do "believe" that all I have is HSV-1 genitally. Way back when, when I was diagnosed, they didn't have a typing system where they differentiated between the two. I don't suffer nearly as much, hardly ever, once in 3 years, if that, and then it's simply a discomfort, not suffering by any stretch of the word. After reading what others experience with HSV-2 genitally, I honestly don't "believe" I have HSV2, but again, in my opinion, I still have genital herpes and my belief is, who cares if it's 1 or 2, it's still friggin' herpes. I think most newly diagnosed people for the most part or those who are just coming out of denial, make more of a deal of having herpes than I do, but I only feel that way, because I've finally gotten over it. Believe me, I've been there and done that. Denial and the works.

This question is one which many people often try to challenge me with, or other similiar questions, but many people feel like they "need to know". I feel very strongly about the fact that it's NOT a big deal, so why make it a big deal. I've already done that, cried a million tears and am OK with it now. Someone challenged me on this topic and what people need to understand is that the issue drives me absolutely crazy. Society in general gets on my nerves with the attitudes, the "knowledge" which some people send out as gospel, the self righteous ones who "preach" on and on about morality and all that. All of us have choices and who the heck are we to place our beliefs and to try and "force" other people that they are the only ones who are right. After all is said and done, we are the ones who have to live with ourselves and whether we tell a prospective partner that we have either oral or genital herpes is a simple case of being an honest person, someone who a prospective mate will love and trust because that person shared something so personal about themselves which they felt was important for the other person to be aware of there risks. After all is said and done, I believe that my honesty will win out in the long run and he will be worthy of being with me.

I believe that people will eventually realize that herpes is here, it's not going anyplace...sure, it might be slowed down IF they find a vaccine, but in my heart of hearts, I don't see that researchers find this to be on their high priority list. I personally believe there are many other viruses and diseases which are much more important and earth shattering. I'm so tired of hearing others respond with "OH POOR ME" UGH, it gets old. Shit or get off the pot, ya know. Get over it :-) The sooner people can get used to their new selves, the quicker they can move on and be happy again and feel sexual and loved again. You have to love yourself before anyone will love you. I know you've heard that before!!

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