PositiveSingles.com - the largest STD-single dating site!


Monday, March 27, 2006

She's movin' on with her life.

I left the Herpes support group, because I feel like I have closure with having HSV2. I have had HSV2 for 3 years, the man I slept with lied to me about having an STD, and I was blessed with the souvenir. I am now 28 years old. I was always on the group site looking for responses to how potential suitors handled the news of being told, and when was a good time to tell a potential partner. I have told a few people, most react well, it's true that how you tell matters to how they react. People do trust and respect you for being honest and wanting to protect them. I realized that I have a lot to offer and that patience pays off. I didn't feel desperate to be in a relationship, I only dated people I genuinely liked and was attracted to. I only told those that I felt like I wanted to be serious with, which wasn't many, but I'm kind of picky. I think it's important to date as if you didn't have anything to worry about, tell when you feel like it's someone you can trust, care about and someone you would genuinely want to be with. I realized it's best not to wait too long, so that it's not painful if it's something they can't handle. I am beautiful, intelligent, funny, kind and fun. I was not willing to settle for someone just because they might accept me with HSV2. Having herpes really is not a big deal. Basically, I'm now in a fabulous relationship with the best man I have ever met, he's handsome, smart, sexy, sweet, talented, honest and fun! I'm now on daily Valtrex 500MG, it's almost like I don't even have the virus. Obviously, I watch out for prodome and symptoms to keep him safer. I know that it is important to give people time to digest the information. After I told my guy, it seemed like he was only interested in being friends, we still would snowboard together, but there was a distance between us. Two weeks later, he came around, it may have been me feeling awkward and unintentionally pushing him away. It's perfect now. Having HSV2 isn't a big deal, it truly is very common and there is no reason to pitty yourself or settle. I'm happy and feel great. Being involved with a herpes support sight was a big help to me when I doubted myself, thank you. Feel free to post this email, it may help someone.



Stephanie, thank you for allowing me to share your feelings on how a herpes support group has helped you. Hopefully others will find it inspirational for them.


Sunday, March 19, 2006

Can I get Herpes from a Toilet Seat

Can you get herpes from a toilet seat? You know, I've been thinking lately about if I did "out" myself in my community, would the ignorance and stigma around herpes cause people in my community to fear using the toilet after me? I am guessing before I jump off the cliff and just out myself, that I need to be prepared for any questions and or rumors which might surface in light of my outing. I think it's utterly ridiculous for people to fear herpes. What they fear, like anything else is something which is "unknown" to them. In my ever so humble opinion, that's what they fear is their ignorance of it.

Herpes is a huge topic in the world of health, sex and love. I would love to find those folks who are looking for are looking for the drug and disease free companions. I challenge them to get tested too before they judge me or anyone else. I realize of course, that your average person isn't real ready to just say "sign me up". I want to have herpes too, unless they're simply a glutton for punishment and I'm simply using that as a figure of speech. For me, life goes on. It's simply an inconvenience and I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and getting herpes was my wake up call.

Anyway, bottom line is, NO you can not get herpes from a toilet seat. You get herpes through skin to skin contact. Now crabs on the other hand, yes. Those little buggers like to jump from toilet seats, but they are easy to get rid of, so they're just an annoyance. Crabs like to jump up vs. jump down and drown in the toilet, but hey, wouldn't you too ;-)

Reliable Sources:

Mayo Clinic
National Institute of Health
Myths and Misperceptions about Herpes by Famvir


Monday, March 06, 2006

I've Had Herpes for A Long Time

I've come to realize this is the bottomline when it comes to telling a possible new romantic interest.

How did you tell them?

I just tell them. And I usually tell them right away, in the first few days. I say "There's something you need to know, I have hsv2." I've had a few funny reactions, a few pauses and then a "No big deal" reaction, and one "Whoop dee do" reaction. A man is seeing you because he is interested in YOU. And it is true that herpes is something we have, not who we are. God forbid herpes should define who I am. If anyone looks in the dictionary, they won't find a picture of any of us next to the word "Herpes".

When I am asked out, that tells me the man is interested. I can show him that I am a nice person, I can show him that I have compassion, I can show him that I have a sense of humor. I can show him that I am no different than any other human being on the face of this earth. If he cannot overlook the fact that I have herpes, to see the wonderful, beautiful person that I am, then the only thing I will show him is the door. There are too many really decent guys out there to waste any time on someone like that.

Just take a deep breath and go for it.


Thank you Libby for sharing this great, bottom line opinion which I agree with totally. You Go girl :-)

Labels: ,

Saturday, March 04, 2006

You Have to Ask Yourself

What exactly are you looking for and is the person worth the risk of getting genital herpes. If you're simply looking to get laid, I say to you, don't put yourself and that person through the misery of that magical day when you too can come together (that's how we women think :-) as one. If you really don't want the risk, just let them know ahead of time.

What's wrong with people having this discussion ahead of time, even before someone even has to have "the talk". I guess that's why people ask the question are you drug and disease free because they don't want to take the risk and that's cool. I respect people for even bringing this topic up as something of concern to them. Honestly, it tells me they're not looking for a long term relationship when it comes to talking about herpes. I can honestly say that I feel that way about a person who would have AIDS. That scares the heck out of me, but ONLY because death is more of a possibility and of course, everyone's situation is different from the next. In my case, I have a child and want to be here for him for as long as I possibly can be. So I understand that thinking, but if you're just looking for a "fuck buddy" then to be honest, I wouldn't want to put you at risk either because I want the real deal anyway. Someone to love me and spend the rest of their lives with me. Sound hokey? NAW!! I'm a woman :-) For me, TELLING weeds out the ones who I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with anyway. NOW, there is also the case of telling, they accept the fact that I have herpes and then I found out that they are an abuser and OK with me because NO ONE else will spend time with them. That's where the next rule comes in. DON'T let a new LOVE move in with you until you have gotten to know everything about them. Don't fall for anything, don't settle!! Believe me when I say, it's NOT worth it. That's why I prefer to have friends first and then if we get to a place where we might "cross that line" then by that point, I would most likely have already told "my friend" and if we've been friends for a very long time, then he or she has then decided that I am worth the risk. It's crazy how our minds think and the choices we make.

Labels: , , ,