PositiveSingles.com - the largest STD-single dating site!


Wednesday, November 30, 2005

How do I put a condom on?

"It's actually frightening how many of my patients either aren't using
condoms correctly or aren't using them at all," she said. "If you
aren't comfortable talking about STDs or you aren't comfortable
putting a condom on a penis, you aren't ready to have sex."

Some women the assistant talked to said they don't look when putting
a condom on their partner, or they don't look when their partner is
putting on a condom, so neither partner is sure if they are properly

"It's not a moral question of right or wrong; it's pure science.
Using a condom is the best way to protect yourself from STDs other
than not having sex at all," the assistant said. "Using condoms
should be standard practice for anyone having sex."

Improper protection has led to a "huge resurgence" in gonorrhea
and chlamydia, STDs that generally don't cause any outward signs
of infection such as discharge or lesions, she said.

A 2002 Planned Parenthood study found that about 40 percent of
college-aged men don't put condoms on correctly.

  1. To put on a condom correctly, first check the expiration
    date, then tear open the wrapping either at the notch provided or in the middle of the packet.
  2. Squeeze the tip of the condom between your thumb and first two fingers to get rid of any air and to allow room for semen and any further enlargement of the penis.
  3. Place the rolled-up condom on the tip of the penis with the hand pinching the end, and roll the condom down with the other hand. If the man is uncircumcised, pull back the foreskin first.
  4. If the condom doesn't roll down easily, it's probably on inside out. Discard this condom and begin again with a new one.
  5. The condom needs to be unrolled all the way to the base of the penis.
  6. After intercourse, the man should hold the base of the condom around hisÿpenis as he pulls out to prevent the condom from slipping off inside the woman and to avoid spillage.
  7. Use each condom only once. Don't store condoms in a hot area and never in a wallet. The condom should be in place before any physical contact between genitalia. Use only water-based lubricants with condoms.

Though condoms will greatly reduce transmission of STDs between partners, they don't provide 100 percent protection against certain diseases such as herpes and vaginal warts, the assistant said. For example, herpes can be transmitted when flakes of skin from the pubic area - an area not covered by a condom - shed onto another person's pubic area, even when the person with herpes is not having an outbreak of sores.

source (great article here):

Can you really get herpes from waxing?


I have to agree with this article. I believe that hot wax is simply
"too hot" for the herpes virus to survive in. I'm not a doctor or a
scientist, but it just seems logical to me.

January W. Payne
Washington Post
Nov. 29, 2005 10:50 AM

Many women turn to professional waxing to get rid
of unwanted hair, but could the practice put salon
customers at risk for herpes? A new e-mail making
the rounds warns that it could.

The message cites a woman's call to a radio station
explaining how she contracted herpes - a virus that
mostly causes painful oral or genital sores and
blisters - after having her lips and eyebrows waxed
at a nail salon in New York. "The married woman who
stated that she never cheated was wondering how
she possibly got herpes not only on her lip but on
her eyebrows," the e-mail states.

Here's how, the email suggests: Many salons don't
change wax tools between customers. According to
the e-mail, "If someone has herpes those bacteria
is now on the stick and now the bacteria festers
and grows in the hot wax."

Snopes.com, a Web site that identifies and vets
urban legends, says there's no truth to the tale,
citing information from the National Herpes Hot
Line. Site co-operator Barbara Mikkelson said
she first learned of the rumor when Snopes began
receiving five or six e-mails a day about the
purported waxer with herpes in early November.

According to Eileen Dunne, a medical epidemiologist
who specializes in sexually transmitted diseases at
the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention,
herpes is a "very fragile" virus that is
transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, making
transmission via hot wax at a salon "very, very
unlikely." Said Dunne, "A lot of bacteria and
viruses (including herpes) don't like heat and
don't grow well in heat."

Friday, November 18, 2005

The Scarlet H - having a "test talk"

I decided to try a "test talk" this weekend with a very close
male friend, but someone that I am not sexually intimate with.
It seemed like a good way to practice telling someone, without
the pressure of a looming sexual encounter, or losing a romantic
relationship. He was soooo matter of fact about it, and said,
so? I have it too -- I get cold sores. Doesn't like 80% of the
population have it in one form or another? He chided me for
being so stressed about it needlessly, and really made me feel
like this is not that big a deal. How refreshing!

I made the comment about feeling like I have a big scarlet H on
my forehead and he said ... you do! It stands for "Human" ...
we all have it ... it's 100% transmissable .....and it's a fatal
condition! Now there's a new perspective! Anyway, this whole
exchange made me feel much better about the whole situation. I
might recommend the "practice talk" method with a trusted friend
or two to get comfortable talking about in situations with less
"stakes" before having to have the big talk with a romantic partner.


It's always nice to know I'm not the only one who doesn't
think that having herpes is the end of the world. Thank you to
Mary for allowing me to share her thoughts here too.

NOTE: When Mary's friend mentioned that it's a "fatal" condition,
he simply meant that we're all gonna die anyway because we are human,
not because we have herpes. Thought I would clarify that.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Dr. Phil's life law number 2

Dr. Phil's life laws are worth applying to those of us who live our
lives, day to day, with having herpes. It addresses how all of us
should live our lives, whether we have herpes or not, but this one
certainly hits home for me.

Life Law #2:

You create your own experience.

Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for
your life. Understand your role in creating results.

You cannot dodge responsibility for how and why your
life is the way it is. If you don't like your job, you
are accountable. If you are overweight, you are
accountable. If you are not happy, you are accountable.
You are creating the situations you are in and the
emotions that flow from those situations.

Don't play the role of victim, or use past events to
build excuses. It guarantees you no progress, no
healing, and no victory. You will never fix a problem
by blaming someone else. Whether the cards you've
been dealt are good or bad, you're in charge of
yourself now.

Every choice you make — including the thoughts you
think — has consequences. When you choose the behavior
or thought, you choose the consequences. If you choose
to stay with a destructive partner, then you choose
the consequences of pain and suffering. If you choose
thoughts contaminated with anger and bitterness, then
you will create an experience of alienation and
hostility. When you start choosing the right behavior
and thoughts — which will take a lot of discipline —
you'll get the right consequences.

What those of us who are living with herpes, we need to take
our power back and not allow herpes to give so much power to
our lives. All of us need to just get out there and live
our lives to the fullest. It's the best thing you can do
for yourself and anyone else who you are closely involved with.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Is a Cold Sore herpes

A cold sore around the mouth is brought on by the activity of a specific virus: herpes simplex virus 1 (HSV1). Although named a "cold" sore, its only connection with a cold is that a virus causes both ailments. However, it is not the same virus. Most people get over colds in about a week, and the immune system prevents that virus from ever making a return engagement. With HSV1, the cold sore will eventually heal, but the virus is not permanently defeated. This viral pest has the ability to hang around, lying dormant in nerve cells awaiting its next opportunity.

Both a cold and a cold sore are affected by the functions of the immune system. An ongoing cold (or some other ailment) could burden the system to the point where the herpes virus might re-emerge. Cold-sore outbreaks are provoked by fever, excessive cold, sun or wind exposure or an injury to the lips or mouth. Stress is also associated with herpes outbreaks.

The dietary connection is interesting. The herpes virus appears to have an appetite for a particular amino acid called arginine and a distaste for the presence of the amino-acid lysine. If HSV1 rarely causes problems, wholesale dietary changes might be unnecessary. But if you are plagued by frequent cold sores, consider increasing the ratio of lysine to arginine in your diet. You could focus more on lysine-rich foods, while cutting back on those high in arginine and see what happens.

Traditional protein foods, such as dairy products, eggs, fish, chicken, beef and lamb, are loaded with lysine. Arginine is found in nuts and nut butters, seeds, grains and chocolate, gelatin, carob, coconut, oats, winter squash, whole-wheat and white flour, soybeans and wheat germ. An extensive list of lysine and arginine values can be found at www.herpes.com/Nutrition.shtml.

Since arginine occurs in a number of healthful foods, an effective way to tilt the odds in your favor would be to take lysine as a dietary supplement.

Another potential weapon to consider is elderberry. As mentioned in a column this past month, this fruit extract showed efficacy as an antiviral when taken at the first sign of a viral outbreak. You can find elderberry extracts at most natural-food stores.

The topical antiviral agent docosanol -- sold over the counter as "Abreva" -- can also help fight viruses. Unlike dietary supplements, over-the-counter products have to demonstrate safety and efficacy before they can be sold. That's why these products display a "Drug Facts" information panel. In contrast, dietary supplements provide a "Nutrition Facts" panel.

There are different types of herpes, by the way. The herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV2), for example, is responsible for genital herpes, and all forms of the virus are contagious. For more information, consult your physician. For serious outbreaks, effective antiviral agents are available by prescription.


This is an excellent description of what exactly a cold sore is. The bottom
line is that a cold sore is herpes. Referred to in the medical community
as HSV1

credit: E-mail inquiries for Kensington resident Ed Blonz to cctimes@blonz.com. Blonz, Ph.D., is a nutrition scientist and the author of "Power Nutrition"

Additional comment: docosanol nutrition source I wonder if docosanol is a nutrition source? Someone had used this keyword phrase and came upon my blog so I guess that's another research thing I'll need to expand upon :-)